Kiss My Ass
by x0LaBellaVita0x
Summary: "Their love was the best kind of love. The kind that is slow, steady, that creeps up on you when you least expect it. Then one day you realize it like a ton of bricks hitting your chest, knocking the wind right out of you." He said, matter of fact.
1. Prologue

I heaved a sigh as I pushed myself up off the chair I had occupied for the night. School started in a few hours and to pass the time I decided to go on a hunting trip. Hunting was a way to clear my head, just let instinct take over, and think of nothing but that. I left my house swiftly and made my way to the dark allies of town. Where the scum of the town dwell. Yesterday I had looked on the towns police website so I knew exactly the people who I as looking for to enjoy next. Rapists, murderers, pervs so on and so on. They were easy to find when you have vampirism on your side and trust me, they followed readily.

I had just walked down my third ally when the stink of blood and uncleanness hit me full force. Bingo. I saw him before he saw me. I recognized him from his picture, John King, a wanted man for raping three women and the attempted murder of one of them. Just my type. I sauntered over to him, being sure to make as much noise as possible. His head snapped and he met my gaze, I watched as his eyes hungrily moved up and down my body. Pig.

"You lost, sweet thing?" His breath smelled of whisky and cigarettes.

"No, sir. I was simply passing through, and you looked like you could use some, well to be blunt, company." I whispered the last part into his ear. Man, did this guy seriously need to bathe.

"What's that company gonna cost me?" He growled, as if trying to scare me. Please.

"No cost. I enjoy it equally as you do, it not more." I explain, my voice slow and velvet like.

"Well in that case," he all but moan and pulled me onto his lap. I didn't fight him, knowing full well he liked to take control.

"Not here," I said, letting him kiss my neck, rolling my eyes has he did so. I stand up pulling him deeper down the ally to the other side leading into the woods.

"I always wanted to do it in the woods." He moaned. If I could throw up, I probably would have already a thousand times over.

As we got closer to the edge of the woods, I felt the venom pool into my mouth like a dam breaking on a river, my eyes that were once ruby red were now black as night. A few feet in I turned around and waited for him to catch up. As soon as he was submerged into the darkness of the trees I did what I do best.

Kill.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

After I cleaned my mess up, something that took me less and less time after every meal, I headed back to my home. Being what I am and all that good stuff, home is an ever changing state of mind for me. I move about every two or three years, starting out as a junior then moving after I graduate. Depending on the town's history and if there have been any past inhabitants of my kind there usually dictates whether I start as a junior or senior. Here, I started as a junior and it was now March of my senior year. I've made friends here, yes, but I never let myself get too attached. I leave and they end up croaking in sixty some odd years. Such is life.

I was currently in a podunk little town called Creek Harbor. It's literally on the border between Washington and Alaska, kind of a neat place if you're into hunting and cold weather. Like me. my house was one of kind, if you will. Half of it was actually in Alaska while the other half was in Washington, it added a little something to it.

I've graduated high school quite a few times now, college only twice. I've learned that the kids in high school ask less question than those in college. So it's easier for me to be a high schooler. I always figured it'd be the opposite, but when you think about it, it makes sense. High school students are too focused on 'does this dress make my butt look big?' and 'ohmygod guess who I made out with last night?' and yes even the 'oh crap I can't be pregnant. He said he pulled out.' College students don't have all the high school distractions so it's easier for them to become obsessed with asking questions.

I'm good about not getting too close to my classmates. About twenty years ago I was in Colorado, and I had befriended a girl named Ellie. She was an outcast much like myself and we just bonded instantly. Our friendship was easy, we could sit in her room both of us silent and just reading and we'd be happy. She never asked me why my eyes were red or where my family was. She didn't care, all that mattered was that she was my friend and I had her back. It was New Years Eve when is happened. She was driving to meet me in a clearing her and I had stumbled upon during the past summer to watch the fireworks. I was setting up the extra blankets I had brought cause Ellie was horrible at judging how cold it would be outside when I heard it. The screeching tires and then the breaking of glass, and then, silence. I stopped breathing when I was close enough to smell the blood, sure I had excellent control, but I was still a monster. I saw the car then, a car I would recognize anywhere.

"I know what you are, Bella." Ellie whispered when she saw me approach. She wasn't scared of me though, I could see that, death however terrified her.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said, not inhaling. She looked bad, really bad. There was a huge cut on the side of her head, and more scraps and gashes from the broken glass.

"Vampire." She said, her face not faltering the least.

I opened my mouth to say something, to rebuke her, but I smelt the smoke and gas. A fire started on the passenger side, and it was spreading quickly. So much for my rebuttle.

Ellie's leg was jammed under the dashboard, I reached under to try and free her leg and I could feel the heat against my cold skin. "shit." I hissed, the fire touched my skin and I retracted my hand. Smelling yourself burning wasn't a pleasant experience at all. I move my hand fast and the fire went out.

"I bet that felt lovely." Ellie said, sarcastic as ever. I felt my lip tug into a smile. My nostrils flared as I smelt the burning of human flesh, my eyes widened as I waited for Ellie to scream. But she was silent as ever, studying me. I saw then, the awkward angle that she was in, her spine. I worked faster than, not bothering to stay at human place, the cats out of the bag now.

I pulled her a good twenty feet from her, now engulfed car. "You're beatuful, you know." Ellie said. I rolled my eyes.

"Not just vampire you, I did some digging. I was curious, sue me. I searched your name, and found out about a disappearance of an Isabella Swan, when you were her, you were beautiful."

"Is this when you tell me that you have a big lesbian crush on me?" I asked.

"In your dreams." She laughed, but it gurgled.

"I don't have those anymore, besides Ellie, I eat people. There's nothing beautiful about that." I told her.

"You haven't eaten me." She pointed out, matter of fact.

"Sarcastic people taste too bitter for my liking," her eyes widened ever so slightly, "you're too good of a person, and besides, you're my friend."

"Do me a favor then," her hazel eyes meet mine, and I know ,in that moment, I know exactly what she's going to ask. "Change me." She whispers, but I heard every word.

"No." I tell her, my teeth tight.

"Bella, I don't want to die. I'm only 17 for pete's sake. I have my whole life ahead of me." She begged, tears forming in her eyes.

"Take it from someone who knows, El, this isn't the life I would wish on anyone." I explain, the sense of déjà vu washing over me causing my cold heart to sink.

"This," I wave my hand to myself, "isn't living. I'm just wasting space." I reason with her.

If this situation wasn't so messed up, and my friend wasn't begging to be turned, I would almost find it ironic. Human me was all for being a vampire, but really, it's not as glorious as I thought. It's lonely and boring. Who'd have thunk that Blondie would be right.

"I'm dying and you wont save me. some friend you are." I knew she didn't actually mean those words, just the heat of the moment was causing her to speak irrationally. But every word cut through me like a knife on fire.

"No, Ellie, I'm saving you from living a life of murder and loneliness. Trust me, you don't want this. I'm sorry that you can't see things from my perspective. Maybe one day you'll understand, you know, when you're partying it up with all the rock stars that died young." I told her, I could hear her heart beats slowing down ever so slightly, and as much as I wanted to save her I knew that in the long run she would end up resenting me for it.

I heard the sirens and saw the flashing lights through the trees. "I have to go-"

"Then go. Nice knowing you, Bella. It's been great." Her breaths were heavy and short.

"I'm sorry, Ellie." I whispered into her ear as I kissed her cheek and took off into the darkness.

I stayed in the trees though, I didn't have the heart to leave her, she was my best friend after all. I watched as they worked over her, my eyes burning with tears that would never fall. Right before her heart stopped, she looked in my direction, like she knew I was still there, watching. I saw, in her eyes, that I was forgiven.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I was brought out of my reverie when I heard the all too familiar wheels on gravel. Danny rode his skateboard _everywhere_, except to school. After he saw the car I drove to school every day, he thought he'd appear more cool if he rode with the "hot brunette and the Ferrari." His words, not mine.

"Bella," he said in a sing song voice, "I come baring gifts." He opened the door, not that I minded, I'd actually grown accustom to it. His "gift" being his girlfriend Sarah, they've been together before I even moved here, going on five years now and still going strong. He's proposing after graduation. Oh, the things we do for love.

"I told you to knock, dumbass." Sarah said, smiling at me and wrapping me in a hug.

"Nonsense, Bella and I have a strict no knocking policy, ain't that right, Bella?" Danny said, winking at me. I rolled my eyes and hurled a poptart at his head.

"Man, the things I would assume if I didn't know any better." Sarah laughed, looking from Danny to me.

"No way, Bella knows I'm way out of her league." Danny shook his head, chewing on his poptart.

"Yeah, cause that's _exactly_ how people see it." Sarah laughed harder.

"Come on you dweeb. We don't wanna be late." I chuckled. They walked out hand in hand, continuing the conversation that they were having from outside. They were definitely a good looking couple, Danny was tall with broad shoulders, he kept his hair relatively short, and his piercing blue eyes made many girls weak in the knees. Not me though, naturally, he's like the younger brother I never wanted. Sarah was my height, with long fire engine red hair and hazel eyes. She reminded me a lot of Ellie, which made it rather hard to befriend her and get to the point where her and I are at now. Danny asked once, about my eyes, I said that they were contacts, but being the insanely curious that he is he wanted me to prove it. We were driving though, and I so coyly told him that I couldn't see without them. When we got back to my house, I went to the bathroom, put on brown colored lenses and then red ones and did a show. They never asked me anything again.

"So, Bella, you never did say what you were doing next year, you know, for school." Sarah asked.

"Oh, I'm taking a year or two off. Im gonna travel." I tell her, as I speed towards school, Danny loving every minute of it.

"Oh, nice." Her face falls just the slightest. "You guys?" I asked.

"We're heading to the University of Alaska." I nodded, already having some idea that they were both headed to the same school.

Sarah is quiet for a minute, thinking about something.

"We'll keep in touch, though, right?" Her voice is hopeful as are her eyes.

"Yeah, sure." I nod, sending her a small smile as I pull into a parking spot.

I don't want to go into too much detail about how we're going to keep in touch, knowing full well that things will happen and we'll stop talking somehow. It's how it always happens. The heads of the students in the parking lot all turn to look at us, even though this has been an ongoing day to day occurrence, they still find the need to look.

"Just think, after this day we'll be one more day closer to graduation." Danny smiled at us and wrapped an arm around Sarah's waist, pulling her closer.

"About time." Sarah laughed.

"You have no idea." I said, shaking my head slightly, a dark smile on my lips.

I was thinking of taking a few years off from school after graduating in two short months. Europe is the perfect place to not worry about people asking questions, and if I keep travelling periodically then I should have no problem.

"I'll see you guys at lunch." I wave at them as I head in the opposite direction.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The day went by slowly, it seemed like forever until I was making my way to lunch. I grabbed my food, or rather my prop and headed to our normal table. Sarah and Danny were already there, wrapped up in their own conversation. I made more noise than I normally would to announce my presence, something I'd learned that humans like over the years.

"Yo, girl." Danny nodded, grabbing a fry off my plate. I moved my tray towards him as per usual.

"You're not hungry?" Sarah asked, worry creasing her forehead.

"I had a free period last class." I lied smoothly.

"Oh." She nodded.

They started talking about a big party that the football team was hosting in the next couple of weeks.

Something changed in Sarah's face as she turned to look at me.

"There's a new guy you know, let me tell you, he is fine-"

"Hey!" Danny interrupted her.

"You didn't let me finish, he is fine but I already have a boyfriend. He looks, well, actually Bella he looks a lot like you." Sarah finished, raising an eye brow. Oh, crap.

"What do you mean?" I asked, cautious.

"Well, he has the pale skin that you have, incredible good looks, but his eyes are different. They're like gold." She shrugged, curiosity behind her eyes.

"Huh. Interesting." I said, my eye brows raised. What I was really thinking was crap. What is this new vampire blows my cover? Or gets all biased about my red eyes. This is not what I wanted to deal with.

I scanned the cafeteria, even though I knew he wasn't in here because I would have smelt if he was. He's obviously new to town, very new, considering I haven't got wind of him before Sarah telling me. And I saw that glint of curiosity in her eyes, it was unmistakable.

The rest of the day I was more tense, more carefully listening to people's conversation, hoping I would catch wind of this stranger Sarah told me about. Nothing. Unbelievable. It's like the person was here for literally three seconds, just enough to peak Sarah's curiosity and then he left. What the crap.

The ride was quiet as we drove to Danny's house. I think they could somehow tell something was on my mind and they didn't want to interrupt. I couldn't get the new stranger out of my head. I mean, why was he here, what did he want. I couldn't quite wrap my head around his motives. Who ever _he_ is.

I'd ran into some various vampires in my various years of traveling. Some are friendlier than others. Most of the time it's just a brief I acknowledge you and I are the same thing, but other than that I don't want anything to do with you. About 20 or so years ago, after Ellie's accident, I ran into a nice vampire couple, Joseph and Samantha. They'd been together for over a hundred some odd years. They were nice, and let me travel with them for about three years. I don't know why I stayed for so long, usually I was used to being on my own, but after Ellie I just needed to be around people who understood what I was going through. And Joseph and Samantha were just the people to do so. I wish I was still in contact with them, but I after I left we became distant.

I bid farewell to Danny and Sarah, promising we'd all hang out tomorrow after school, then sped home. When I pulled into my driveway I smelt it. The smell was like a wrecking back to me, sweet and tempting with a hint of manliness mixed in. it was like nothing I'd ever smelt before. Vampire, obviously. But that didn't explain the odd scents that came with it.

I was cautious as I made my way to my house, being aware of all the smells and noises around me. I unlocked my door, took an unnecessary breath, readying myself for whatever might be awaiting for me on the other side of door. And entered my temporary home. It was then that it hit me, the familiarity of it all.

"Bella," They spoke in a whisper-like voice, "it's been a while."


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The blonde hair blurred as the stranger went to sit in my lazy boy chair.

"Jasper." I breathed out, relieved and surprised all mixed into one tone of voice.

"Isabella," He nodded, a near smile on his lips from my reaction no doubt, "it's been a while."

"Not long enough." I mumbled, but of course he heard me, as I collapsed onto the couch.

There was a silence that followed, not an uncomfortable one, just one where I knew that he was watching me. His eyes creating some sensation that coursed through my whole body, I searched for something, something human that would be somewhat equivalent. The best I came up with was goose bumps.

"Not to sound rude or anything, but what the hell are you doing here?" I asked.

"Oh yeah, not rude at all." He said, a teasing smile on his lips. I glowered at him.

"Well, I was just passing through." He shrugged, leaning back into the chair.

"To where?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Not sure yet, maybe to see my old friends Peter and Charlotte." He explained.

"Really? Causing enrolling in high school doesn't exactly come off as 'just passing through.'" I mimicked his voice nearly perfectly. Causing him to laugh wholeheartedly, again, a sound I didn't quite understand what it was doing to me.

"Well, I _was_ passing through. And then I caught scent of a very strange yet familiar smell. Safe to say my interest peaked. I went to the high school, listened to some various conversations. One in particular was really rather fascinating, between a Danny and Sarah. Something about their dear friend Bella needing to get laid." Jasper stated, clearly biting back a smile.

"Danny has a foot in mouth disease, it's rather tragic actually." I told him, darkly. I watched as Jasper's eyes changed from liquid gold to charcoal black, I realized that it was due to my anger and quickly reigned it in as his eyes changed to normal as quick as flicking on a light switch.

"Did you do that?" He asked, surprised.

"Do what?" I countered.

"Clever." He praised. "The only one who's ever really known just how strongly and quickly their emotions affect me was Edward, and that was only because he read it in my mind. You figured it out all on your own."

"Not as dumb as she looks, folks."

Jasper shook his head, "that's not what I meant-"

"Are you alone?" I cut him off though, finally asking the question that's been stuck in my head since I saw his face.

"What do you-"

"Is everyone here or just you?" I asked again, rephrasing.

"Just me." He replied. I wanted to ask him why but the look on his face made me think otherwise.

"Your turn." I said, nodding to him.

"What?" He asked, clearly confused.

"Don't play stupid, I know you've been wanting to ask me since you saw me. Come on now, spit it out." I rolled my eyes, waiting.

"Your eyes." He whispered.

"Ding, ding we have a winner. Blood red and all natural. Well, all natural for a dead person. " I shrugged.

"But _why?_" He asked.

"Because I follow my own path, I make my own choices, no one makes them for me," I could tell he was unconvinced, and slightly was that repulsion I saw, I snorted. "Oh don't get your knickers in a twist. I only hunt when I absolutely need to, which wont be for another month or so and my hunted are all assholes."

"You can drink human blood and be around humans and only feed _once_ a month?" Now his interest was piqued.

"Yep." I popped the p. "Sure, there are some that I would like to kill, the ones that truly get under my skin. But other than that not really. There's only a couple months left then I'll be long gone and people will have forgotten all about Isabella Swan."

"Swan, huh? You kept your last name." He nodded, in thought.

"Nah," I shook my head, "not always anyways. I went by Isabella Black for a while, and then when all my family members passed away I went back to Swan."

"Ah, that explains why Esme couldn't find you."

"What?" I asked, clearly confused.

"Esme always had it in her mind that you weren't really dead. Mother's intuition she called it. She searched for you for a decade or two, and then I guess her compassion ran out." Jasper explained, a fond but sad smile on his lips.

"Yeah, i guess that's why." I will admit, I was flabbergasted to hear that Esme looked for me after my, well, death. I studied Jasper for a couple seconds.

"Well, I know you're not gonna tell her I'm alive, if you can call what we are living." I said.

"What makes you so sure?" Jasper leaned forward, elbows on his knees.

"Because of the tone of voice you had when you talked about her, and the look you have right now. Besides what good would knowing be now? You guys still left me, what's done is done and blah blah blah." I explained, shrugging.

I hadn't realized until now that the sun was lower in the sky compared to when Jasper and I started talking.

"Shit." I jumped up.

"What? What's happening?" Jasper jumped up too, getting into a defensive position.

"It's morning _already._" I hissed. He rolled his eyes and straightened up. "So what?"

"So-" I was cut off my the doorbell, "that's what."

My hand hesitated on the doorknob for a moment as I glanced at Jasper. I sighed, and pulled it open.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Danny may have been raised as a caveman but I wasn't, ergo I knock before entering, oh-" Sarah passes the threshold and her eyes land on Jasper, and then I see her eyes take in the fact that I'm wearing exactly what I was wearing the last time she saw me.

"_Oh._" She said again, her cheeks turning a deep scarlet.

"What's the hold up?" Danny came up behind her, staring from her to me, then his eyes landed on Jasper. If I were human I would have missed the fact that he puffed his chest out ever so slightly. Jasper saw it too, as I heard him chuckle lightly to himself. As if there was even a comparison, wait, what?

"What's going on here?" Danny asked, all authoritative like.

"Just come in. Let me change really fast." I said, stepping aside as they both walked in.

"Be nice." I said, too quiet for the humans to hear.

I hurriedly ran up the stairs and changes clothes.

"So, you know Bella?" Danny asked, making conversation, but I heard the protectiveness in his voice.

"You could say that. Bella and I go way back." Jasper answered, keeping it short.

"Really? Huh. She's never mentioned you before. That's odd." Danny mused in reply.

Jasper sucked in a breath, and I heard him clench his fist. I reappeared then, in fresh clothes ready to go.

"Shall we?" I said, chin cocking towards the door.

I stopped though, realizing Jasper was still present.

"Jas? You want a ride with us?" I watched as his eyes darted to Danny then back to me a small smile tugging at his lips.

"I'd love one."

"Bella?" Danny asked, as we walked outside.

"Mhm." I said.

"Slight problem, we're not all going to fit."

"True." I nodded, redirecting myself to my garage, "guess we're taking my other car."

"You have another car?" Danny's jaw drops. I nod.

"Secrets don't make friends, Bella, friends make secrets." He said, and I saw his eyes focus on Jasper for a moment.

"Great, now I'll never live this one down." I whispered to Jasper, glaring at him.

"You're the one who kept stuff from them." Jasper replied, too low for the humans to hear.

"With good reason." I get into the driver side of my Mercedes Guardian, a birthday present to myself last year.

"I don't follow." Jasper said, getting into the passenger seat after Danny and Sarah occupied the back.

"I'm leaving right after graduation, cutting ties when humans get too attached its nasty business." I shrugged, throwing the car in the reverse.

"You mean when you get attached?"

A menacing growl escapes from deep within my throat, "back off, Jasper. You don't know a thing."

"You're right," he sighed, "I don't." There was something in his voice when he said that, but I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was.

"So, you two know each other how?" Danny asked, leaning in between the driver seat and passenger seat.

"Old family friends from years ago." I explain, keeping it short and simple.

"And, what? You're just popping back in for a family reunion?" Danny pokes further for information.

"I was just passing through, and I realized that this is where dear Bella now called home, we were long overdue for a visit." Jasper said, shooting me a sideways glance.

"And whose fault is that?" I shot back at him. I see his face change from my emotions, and I curse myself, I've let my emotions get the best of me. Left myself vulnerable. I quickly change my emotions to something more neutral. I don't look Jasper in the eyes for the rest of the car ride to school.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I hated this. I hated having to keep my emotions in check around Jasper, he would read into everything. He wouldn't question it though; he'd just look at me with the smoldering topaz eyes of his. He's been here for a month so far. He wasn't living with me per se, but he did spend a lot of time at my house. Danny is still on end with him, he doesn't know what to think. I mean ever since I lived here Danny has been my only guy friend, the over protective big brother if you will. And here comes Jasper, disrupting the flow of our friendship. I think though, that Danny knows Jasper isn't a brother figure. I don't really know what to make of him anymore to be honest. We can just sit in my library and talk about history or books that we've read.

It's not good, I'm getting too close, I need to distance myself. This is exactly what happened the last time I was tangled up with the Cullen's. And let us not forget how that ended.

"Bella? What are you doing?" I looked down from the tree branch I was currently occupying to see Jasper staring up at me, one eye brow raised.

"Oh, just branching out. Get it?" I said.

Jasper chuckled and shook his head, "ever so clever, Bella." I watched as he crouched down and jumped up to the same branch. I railed in my emotions so not to tip him off.

I watched him for a moment, as the sun came out from behind the trees and he sparkled.

"Jasper?" I called out, he turned to look at me, it's the way he always looks at me, the way that if I were human I would go weak in the knees and my cheeks would flush.

"What happened?" I asked, it's something that I've been dying to know ever since he showed up here, I just never had the heart to ask him.

"Nothing yet, but it's still early in the day." He grinned.

"That's not what I mean, and you know it. Come on, Jasper, something happened. It must have had to. You're alone. Where are the Cullen's? Where's Alice?"

He sighed and looked back at the sun for a moment then met my gaze. "I guess I should have known that question was coming. I figured it would have been asked weeks ago."

"That wasn't an answer that was avoidance." I call him out. He smiled again at me, this time it went right through me, igniting things inside me that I thought I lost decades ago. I watched as his eye brows creased, trying to figure out my new emotions, so I quickly thought of something else.

"You're amazing you know that, how you can feel that your emotions are affecting me and then change them in a split second." He mused.

"Still avoiding."

"Things were different after we left you. Carlisle and Esme acted as if their child had died, which in some case isn't far off, we did leave you and cut off all ties. I guess thinking that you were dead was better than obsessing over how your life was. That sounds really awful, and I'm sorry for that. But it's the truth. Emmett," he paused, searching for the right words, "it really hit Emmett hard. It hit all of us, even Rose, believe it or not." He chuckled a bit.

"With Emmett he lost his exuberance, his humor. It was like he left his playful side with you. Rose was broken too because Emmett was broken. But, and she'll probably never admit this, she missed you. You were one of the few people who would take all her snide remarks and then shoot them right back to her. Besides, she lived vicariously through you, you had the one thing she will always want, mortality." He explained.

"And Edward? Alice?" I'm not gonna lie, for the first few years after they had left I couldn't bring myself to even say his name, much less think about him. But after awhile I got over it and brushed it up to a good ridden kind of thing. Sure, I became the exact thing he was trying to prevent, but when all is said and done, it's his loss. Not mine.

"Well, their stories kind of go together. I knew that Alice and I had been drifting apart; it started before we left, so don't blame yourself. Things just, I'm not sure, we stopped clicking. We were good at hiding it from everyone. About ten years after we left, I went on my own little mini vacation if you will. I had a lot of things going on my head, as did Alice, so we figured time apart would do us some good. We'd both be able to figure everything out. I didn't expect to be gone for that long, maybe a couple months top. I went and visited Peter and Charlotte for a little over a year. I've known Peter for a long time and he knows me very well. They both said that even though they loved Alice dearly, they knew that she wasn't the one for me. I had seen it myself, maybe I was just too scared to admit it, I mean, Alice and the Cullen's were all I knew, aside from Peter and Charlotte. Without them, I didn't really know who I was.

"So I went back. In our case, absence didn't make the heart grow fonder. Turns out Alice and Edward were, well, involved." Sure as shit did not see that coming. He met my eyes for a second, seeing how I was taking this new information. I stayed neutral, naturally.

"They sat me down and explained to me what was going on. They just started their relationship a month before my return, and I knew they were being honest, I could feel the truth in their words. After seeing them together, they way they acted and how they looked at each other I knew that their love was the best kind of love. The kind that is slow, steady, that creeps up on you when you least expect it. Then one day you realize it like a ton of bricks hitting your chest, knocking the wind right out of you." He said, matter of fact.

My emotions turned slightly bitter because I heard Jasper take a sharp inhale of breath at the sudden change. "Love is a fallacy. I stopped believing in it a long time ago."

"It takes someone who has had their heartbroken to know what true loss feels like." Jasper spoke.

"Did Alice break your heart? Because if she didn't then you have no idea what I went through." I hissed.

"There are different kind of heartbreaks, Bella, the ones that hurt you so badly that you carry with you all your life, like yours. And the kind that sting but you accept them and move on cause it's for the best, like mine."

"So you're okay with your brother and your wife being together? I don't buy it." I shook my head.

"Ex-wife. Edward and her are married now. I'm not saying that it wasn't…weird to be around them. I mean, after I returned I only stayed with them for another five years. I left because I needed to find out who I was without them. Another thing, Bella, you were irrevocably in love with Edward. As I look back on my relationship with Alice, I don't think I was in love with her. Yes, I loved her dearly, but it never got to the point of being in love. She knew that, and she felt the same way."

"And you're optimistic that you'll fall in love with someone?" I asked.

"Yeah. I'm sure of it." He nodded, then cocked his head to one side, "will you fall in love again?"

"Love can kiss my ass for all I care." I jumped off the tree before Jasper could say something back. He followed me which didn't surprise me.

"I have to go, Emmetts visiting. We'll talk later, okay?" he asked.

"Emmett?" I questioned.

"Don't worry, Bella," he took a step closer, "your secret's safe with me." he whispered.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"It's hard to explain." I said, collapsing onto Sarah's bed. After Jasper left I needed something to do so I didn't fixate, so I called Sarah and asked to hang out.

"It's really not, though." She disagreed.

"You don't know him like I do." I huffed, getting up from the bed.

"Maybe not, but I do know the way he looks at you. I can be pretty damn observant when I want to be."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Come on, Bella, you're a smart girl. Surely you can put together the pieces. When you're in the same room as him it's literally like you're the only one that he sees. He just looks at you with this gaze of his; he doesn't look at anyone else like that."

"So, what? You're saying he's in love with me or something? That's ridiculous." I shake my head, laughing slightly at the idea. Jasper in love with me? Please.

"I'm just calling it like I see it. And I think you're in love with him too. You're just too scared to admit it out of fear of being hurt." Sarah continued. I didn't say anything back, I just stared blankly at her, unsure of what to say.

"If I had to venture a guess, I'd say that someone really did a number on you once, making you afraid of love. It's a shame actually, when you find someone who can love you unconditionally it's really something else. "

"It's far more complicated than that, Sarah, you make it sound simple." I shook my head.

"It is simple, you're making it more complicated than it should be. If you love him and he loves you nothing should hold you back." She disputed.

"The guy before, the one that broke my heart, it's his brother." I finally said, my voice more angry than I intended.

"Oh," Her mouth forms into an o, "I can see how that would complicate things."

"Yeah, you think?" I huffed. And then I watched as she smiled brightly at me.

"Well, on the brightside I was right. You are in love with him." She said, her eyes crinkling.

"So not the point."

"Seriously, what's this brother of his doing? Has he moved on with someone new?"

"Yeah, he's got a new girlfriend." I nodded, I mean, I couldn't exactly tell her the actual truth of just how he moved on.

"There you go, then. I say go for it." She said.

I was about to say something but my phone vibrated in my pocket. I flipped it open to a text from Jasper.

_Emmett's not as dumb as we give him credit for. Get home. Now. _

Shit. "I have to go." I said.

"Is everything okay?" Sarah asked, worry creasing her features.

"Yeah, it's just family business." I shrugged heading to the door.

"Are you ever gonna let me in?" She whispered, thinking that I couldn't hear. I didn't expect her words to affect me that way they did.

"How did Emmett even know something was up?" I growled when I saw Jasper standing on my doorstep.

"Easy, Bella." He said, sending a wave of calm, I ignored the calmness, the anger raging inside me. Jasper flinched.

"He smelt you, he doesn't know it's_ you_. But he knows that I'm hiding something and I saw how something was triggered in his memory when he got a whiff of freesia and strawberries. Something your human self always smelt like." He explained.

"This wasn't supposed to happen. Everything is changing now. You've changed _everything_. I was fine before you came back into my life, and now you're here things are changing. I'm changing. I was fine." I hissed, trying not to let my voice falter.

"Fine? Bella you were not _fine_. When I got here you were far from fine, you were only existing not enjoying any part of this life, certainly not your friends. There was something missing in you, and excuse me for thinking that I, oh I don't know, I was helping fill the void. I guess I was reading your emotions wrong, I thought you were falling in-" I couldn't hear it anymore, I couldn't bare the fact that he knew me so well to know the truth, to know exactly what I was hiding from. So I tackled him. Violence may not solve anything, but it certainly puts a hold on rants.

"I'm not gonna fight you, Bella." Jasper said, not struggling underneath me.

"Why? Afraid you'll lose?" I asked, pushing down harder.

"Because it's not me you'd be fighting, it's the part of you that's doubting everything you already know." He whispered, laying his hand on my cheek. I didn't know what to say to that, how can one person know me so well? So didn't _say_ anything, I did the last thing that him and I expected.

I kissed him.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The kiss started off slow at first, both of us getting used to the other person, naturally. Then the kiss got more intense, more passionate. It was like our emotions were mixed into one and Jasper and I could feel both at the same time, only intensifying the moment. Making it better.

"Get some." The gruff voice interrupting Jasper and my moment, was oddly familiar. Like a human memory buried deep inside my brain, long forgotten. I broke the kiss with Jasper and looked up, my teeth bared, growling at the intruder.

His topaz eyes met my blood red ones, intense at first, he crouched in a defensive position and then everything melted away. His defensive stance, his cold stare, and he looked at me with an undeniable sort of intensity.

"Bella?" He called out, his voice barely above a whisper, raspy, like he hadn't said it in half a century, which is true.

"Emmett." I said, standing up, Jasper was standing next to me almost instantaneous. I studied Emmett for a moment, I tried to think back to my human memories and see I could pick up on the differences that Jasper had explained to me. But looking back at human memories with vampire eyes was a difficult task to accomplish.

"It is you." His eyes went from mine to Jasper's, "you have some serious explaining to do."

Before another word was spoken Emmett came barreling towards me, engulfing me in a huge bear hug in true Emmett fashion. It's a good thing I'm not freaking breakable.

"It's been a while, eh Em." I said as he put me down.

"Half a century, Bella, I'd say that constitutes as a while." He laughed. He stared at Jasper and I again. "So, you two, huh? How long has this little shin dig been going on for?" He wiggled his eye brows.

"Like three seconds before you so graciously announced your presence." I scowled at him.

"Oops." He smiled, sheepishly at first then devilishly. I didn't like where this was going. "Wait until Rose hears about this. She's going to flip." He said, taking out his cell phone.

"No!" I gasped, taking the phone from his hand before he had time to react. They both looked at me wide eyed.

"I mean, not yet?" I mumbled, Jasper chuckled.

Emmett raised his eyebrows at us the something flashed in his face.

"Wait, wait, wait," He said, "Jasper you've been here for quite some time now. And you never once thought to tell us that Bella was _alive_? I mean don't you think that everyone would want to know that information? Like Edward? And Alice? Oh…she does know about that, right?"

"Yes, Emmett, she knows." Jasper nodded.

"It was my decision whether or not Jasper told the Cullen's about me. and I decided that it should stay a secret, at least for the time being." I explained.

"You didn't want us to know?" Em whispered.

"You thought you deserved to know? You guys left, remember?" I spoke without thinking, Emmett flinched and so did Jasper. I looked at Jasper apologetically, "sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"Yes you did," he interjected, "but it's okay. I get it." He smiled slightly at me, and brushed his hand against my cheek.

"Speaking of Rose, where is your better half these days?" I asked Emmett.

"Her, Esme and Alice went to Paris for a little shopping spree. They'll be back in a few hours." Emmett explained.

"Women." Jasper said, baffled.

"Well, as much fun as it is to be involved in this brotherly bonding fest that's about to take place. I've got some where to be." I said.

"Gotta hot date?" Emmett chuckled.

"Actually yes, werewolves run at a hot 108.9 degrees." I shot back.

"Werewolf?" Jasper choked out, defensive.

"You learn something new every day." I flashed a brilliant smile at their dumbstruck faces and took off into the woods, "don't wait up." I yelled over my shoulder, chuckling.

I ran the familiar path to our usual meeting place. It was a cliff overlooking a lake in Canada, most of the time we would just spend hours talking and catching up, then we'd go cliff diving. All very fun.

It was dark when I got to the clearing, but I could easily see the big, dark shadow figure sitting on its hide legs, staring up at the moon.

I charged for him, he noticed me before I made impact but he didn't have enough time react. I made sure that I stopped running before I hit him so I didn't cause any serious damage. He still grunted though when I landed on top of him.

His brown eyes met mine and he scowled, but I saw the humor in them as well.

"Beta 187. Alpha 16." I smiled. We were keeping tabs on who could surprise each other the most. And I was winning by a landslide. He turned his nose up at me, avoiding eye contact. I rolled off of him.

Over the years we had grown so accustomed to each other that we could understand each other without him having to speak. I could read his wolf form as well as when he's in human form. Which as I punched him lightly in the shoulder, his gesture was to signify that I stunk.

A noise vibrated through his throat, a laugh.

"So, how've you been, Jacob?" I asked. Before he answered, he shifted back to his human self, for some odd reason. I raised an eye brow at him.

"Come on, Bells, we haven't seen each other in nearly three months. I at least want to have a normal conversation with you." His voice was light hearted, as he smiled at me, ruffling my hair.

"Very good point." I smiled back.

"Anyways, I've been good. There haven't been vampires in the area for over 10 years so it looks like we won't have any new werewolves for some time. Which is good, it gets tiring having to show them the ropes." He chuckled, but I knew he liked being alpha.

"What about you?" He asked, staring at me with those intense brown eyes of his. Boy, was that a loaded question.

"Well, funny you should ask. Jasper Hale is back."

Jacob froze at my news. "And Cullen?" He seethed, hands clenched into a fist causing his knuckles to turn white.

"Nope, he's not coming. It's just Jasper, and Emmett is visiting but he'll be gone today I think."

This time Jacob raised his eyebrows at me, "say his name again."

"What?" I asked, so confused.

"Just do it."

"Jasper?"

His eyes widened. "Shit, Bells. You and Hale huh?"

I will never understand the relationship that Jacob and I share and how well we know each other. I mean, only Jake would be able to tell that just by the way I said his name.

"That obvious?" I questioned.

"Nope, just to me." He smiled. Then his face became serious. "Are you happy? Cause so help me God, Bells, if he so much as hurts you, even on accident, I will gladly rip him to shreds."

"Not necessary." I said.

"Alright, I'm just saying, the offer still stands." He laughs.

After that we easily flow into steady conversation. I tell him everything that had happened since Jasper came here. We also touched upon Jake's nonexistent love life, the only reason he hasn't stopped phasing is because he hasn't imprinted on anyone. He doesn't want to live his life alone, but it seems like he's giving up on the hope that he'll imprint on someone.

For a while when I was human he thought that he had imprinted on me. But when I disappeared, his world didn't fall apart the way that Sam described it would have if I was meant for him. That bummed him out, for obvious reasons. I think he'll find the one he's meant for, stop phasing, make lots of babies, and live happily ever after. He's not convinced.

Jake eventually had to go, apparently the newest some of the pack members were getting into it with each other, they were still young Jake explained. We said our goodbyes, and promised to see each other soon.

Then we ran in opposite directions.


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Emmett was gone when I got back, Rose, Esme and Alice had landed and they were all going hunting together. It's kind of baffling how they could all just go on with their lives without Jasper. He was a part of the family for so long and from my perspective it seemed like they just brushed him aside like he was nothing. Of course when I told Jasper that he said that that was not the case at all. He told me that Esme tried to make him stay, she still tries to get him to come back every now and then. But he politely declines and promises a visit soon. I know he's not lying, that he does plan on visiting soon, it's just a matter of when and if he has a plus one.

He's brought it up a couple times recently, about me going with him to visit them. Give them the freaking surprise of a lifetime, but I don't know, I mean everything is so different now. Graduation is in a month anyways, so I'm obviously moving right after that.

"I think I'm gonna go see them all. Who knew Emmett would make me actually miss them." Jasper smiled slightly.

"Have fun." I said, not looking up from the book I was reading.

"Come on, Bella, you can't avoid them forever." He said, sitting next to me, looking at me with that smoldering gaze of his. I glared and looked away.

"Watch me." I told him.

Part of the reason I didn't want to see them was because they didn't mean the same to me as they once did. Sure, I still love them, they were a huge part of my life and we went through a lot together, I ran my hand over the half-moon scar James left me with. I shook my head, ridding it the blurry human memories, that doesn't change the fact that they left.

Jasper eyes me curiously, then sighed. "Fine. Well, I'm going to go hunting then I'm gonna take off. If you change your mind let me know."

"Unlikely." I told him. He rolled his eyes and kissed my forehead before disappearing out the door.

When he was out of hearing range I let out an audible groan. I didn't even know why he was pushing so hard for me to go with him…okay, that's a lie, I knew _exactly_ why. There are two reasons, one being so Jasper can lessen the guilt that they all have for thinking I'm dead and the second being to Jasper can flaunt that he's happy and that he's doing just fine without them. Maybe I owed him that, I mean, he's done a lot for me ever since he's got here. I thought for a moment, then decided I'd leave it to fate.

I dialed the familiar number.

"Hey, Bella." Sarah picked up on the third ring.

"Hi, what are you up to today?" I questioned.

"Heading to my aunt's house for my grandmothers surprise birthday party." She huffed, obviously not interested.

"Oh," I sighed, one down, one to go, "well have fun with that."

She chuckled, "not likely, but thanks for your vote of confidence. See you on Monday?"

"Yes ma'am. See you then." After saying bye we both hung up and I dialed another number.

"Bel-Bel-Bella. Sup?" Danny said in a sing-song voice.

"Hey, Danny boy. What are you doing at this very moment?" I asked, crossing my fingers.

"Thinking about Sarah-"

"Ew." I said.

He laughed, "just kidding, I'm getting ready to go to my little brother's play. Why? Everything okay?" He asked, switching to overprotective mode in a second.

"Yeah, everything is fine. I was just wondering. Tell John to break a leg for me."

"You got it, bye Bells."

I hung up the phone and glared at nothing, "fine, fate, you win."

I met Jasper at the door after an hour of pacing around the house waiting for him to get home.

"Let's get this over with." I told him.

The setting sun glistened off his teeth as he smiled brightly at me, "really?"

"Don't give me time to change my mind." I grumbled.

"Right, right. Okay, let's go." He said, heading outside, when he was sure I was actually following, he took off running.

"So, where exactly do they live now?" I asked, my curiosity peaked as we ran.

"A small town in Alaska, not too far from us actually. Believe it or not." He replied.

I wanted to laugh, I mean of course that would happen to me, but I contained myself.

We stayed silent the rest of the run, I could tell Jasper wanted to talk to me, but he was respecting me and leaving me to my own thoughts.

When we were close all I could smell was Cullen. It was literally everywhere. We ran pass some hikers and I saw Jasper's muscles coil, as if _I _was gonna attack.

"Really, Jasper?" I rolled my eyes.

"Sorry, force of habit." He said, kissing my lips quickly, apologizing.

"Well, kick that habit." I mumbled, trying to pull away.

"Never." He mumbled against my lips, crushing me into his body so we were closer as our moonlit shadows became one.


End file.
